Counting on

So maybe my title reminds you of the TLC show about the Duggars. I’ve definitely been known to watch practically every episode with my wife….but no, that’s not what I am writing about.

It’s been about a year since I reached my first goal weight, and over the year, I slowly stopped counting calories in an effort to maintain on my own. I did pretty good, but I think I started to get a little too comfortable.

I literally stopped caring what I ate, and slowly went from being extremely careful about what I ate, and how much, to never saying no to an extra treat, and maybe eating a little more that I needed to if there was a delicious meal that I loved. Obviously, over time this begins to add up.

Frankly, I really don’t love admitting that I couldn’t maintain exactly the same weight for a year. Obviously, I have fluctuated up and down as bodies do, and I don’t think I have completely failed, being within 8 pounds of where I was last year. But I still think it’s too much.

I have decided that I really do need to go back to counting calories. The reason I stopped was mostly because I realized how obsessed I was with it, and I viewed that as unhealthy as well. I’m glad to have taken the break, freeing my mind from the constant worry of going over my calories for the day.

Going forward, it’s like a reboot. I am starting fresh with a new attitude and a new perspective. I know that I am not going to completely fail at my goals, and I know that I have a little bit of freedom in how I do things. I am going to do the best I can to count almost everything, but I am not going to panic if I forget something here and there, and I am certainly not going to force myself to stick to a specific calorie goal per day.

The reality is that I don’t need to do that anymore. I am comfortable enough with where I am at to set a loose goal. I am setting a goal of slowly making my way towards 200 pounds, but I don’t think I care how long it takes to get there. I just want to have a general idea of how much I am eating each day with the mindset of making sure that I don’t gain anything from here on.

I once thought that if I stopped counting calories, I would immediately gain back hundreds of pounds and lose all control. That’s where the obsession came in. I know now that I won’t do that, and that alone has given me this new perspective on my life.

I think this new, loose goal gives me both the structure and freedom that I need to feel comfortable with my body, knowing that I have a general guideline for my future self every day.

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