We as humans are always looking for a purpose. We want to belong in a group among peers, we want to feel needed in our relationships, and we like to be valued in the workplace. It’s not a strange thing. In fact, it’s pretty basic.
It’s comforting when we know that others around us truly value who we are and what we bring to the table. It gives us strength to get through challenging days, and encourages us when we are feeling down.
This week, I went through an unexpected crisis of faith.
I felt like I had lost my purpose.
I was the one who called my own thoughts and purpose into question. I knew who I wanted to be, and how I wanted to serve, but I suddenly didn’t know who I was anymore. Did I fit my own definition? Was I going to have the impact on others that I have always wanted to have?
I didn’t know what to do or how to handle these thoughts. I carried on through my day while struggling internally. I had a fantastic day on the outside, but I was utterly distraught and confused on the inside.
Near the end of my day, someone walked up to me somewhat tentatively and asked if I had a minute to talk. He looked at me and out of nowhere told me what I (and he) considered a very audible message from God.
You know those moments where someone is hyperventilating and hysterical and the only way to snap them back to reality is to just grab them and slap them across the face?
Yeah. I felt like that internally. I felt like I was spiralling downwards and suddenly here is God slapping me in the face with what he wants for my life. It was unexpected and shocking to me to hear an answer to my internal struggles come so quickly.
I listened quietly to the words being said to me, and told him that he had no idea how important he was in that moment. Then I left the room and sat alone somewhere to have a good cry.
It’s an emotional thing when you hear from God, and I think for me it’s been a long time since he did that so clearly, or perhaps I just wasn’t listening. Whatever the case, it fills me with joy that I am still doing what he wants me to do and somehow I am making my mark on the world around me.
It’s really hard to know how I am doing that, and I often have doubts that what I do matters. Apparently though, whatever the case may be for the future, I know that I am currently where I need to be, doing what God has designed for my life.
I know that not everyone will believe that or agree with the sentiment, but I still think it’s important to actively listen to the call, whatever it may be, and wherever you think it comes from. Make the world a better place, and when you have doubts, realize that it’s okay to struggle.
The answer may come from an unexpected place.