When I was around 13, I started playing NHL 2003 on PC, and I loved it. I loved it so much that I bought the new game each and every year. Every single year, the first thing I would do is create a player in the game. I naturally wanted to create myself. The only problem is that the weight slider on the game never went as high as it needed to to be accurate. As the years went on, the games got better and better and so did the physics, which meant that if you maxed out the weight, it would produce a fat, slow, terrible hockey player.
As accurate as that might have been for me, it certainly wasn’t very fun. So I had to pick an ideal weight for my player to be tough and large, but also have some intensity and speed. I chose 225 pounds.
I spent years playing those NHL video games, and every time I ever entered the weight for my player, it was 225. Every time I did it and every time I saw that number on any screen, year after year, I sighed and thought to myself “Who am I kidding? I’ll never weigh 225 pounds.”
Today, I do.
I dreamed about what it might feel like. I wanted desperately to see it on the scale, but all I ever saw was a very depressing number. Now suddenly here I am. I’ve lost 255+ pounds and I have stepped on the scale and I see 225. Just like all those virtual versions of me I created over the years in all the NHL video games.
I no longer have to lie when I create myself in the next video game.
I no longer have to sigh and feel worthless about myself.
I no longer have to beat myself up.
I no longer have to pretend to be something I’m not.
This is the checkpoint of my main weight goal. I wanted to weigh 225 pounds, and now I do. I don’t consider myself to be done losing weight at this point, but I know that I have achieved something that I once couldn’t even let myself believe was ever possible.
I think that’s something to be proud of.