I wrote a post on Mother’s Day in 2018 that was all about my own mom, and how much I miss her, but this one is a tad bit happier than that one, as I would like to make a tribute to my Mother in Law, Kathryn.
Obviously one’s own mom cannot ever be replaced, but I think that she’s done a pretty damn good job at filling the role. They never did get a chance to meet one another, and while that makes me sad, I am incredibly grateful that I have never yet actually felt a day without a mother. The day after my mom died, I had spent the night at my in-laws house, and Kathryn immediately took over for mom, making me breakfast and sitting with me to talk as I learned about my next steps and what I would have to start doing to take care of all the legal things that need to be done when someone dies.
From that moment on, I have continued to feel that she is very much my mom too, and I am so grateful for her presence. She is kind and loving in the most wonderful of ways. Although it took me awhile to understand her, I have quickly come to appreciate her.
The first time she ever really wanted to show love for me, I remember that she wanted to buy me some new shoes. The first moment I heard this, I was confused and slightly offended. I thought that she thought I couldn’t afford new shoes. I was too insecure at the time, having grown up with no money but dead set on making my way in life without handouts. I wanted to prove that I was capable of this, and I didn’t want her to think that I wouldn’t be able to take care of her daughter. I eventually got over this insecurity and realized that she loves giving (and maybe hated my sneakers a little bit, but hey…I agree now. My tastes have changed and grown, in big part because of this moment).
She has a sense and an ability that is unmatched to know when people need something – anything. Love, kindness, a listening ear, condiments…you name it, she senses your need and will do anything to make sure you are taken care of and you are no longer in need. She has an incredible heart in this way, and I have never known anyone like her. She donates countless hours of her life to several worthy causes and there are quite literally thousands of people all over the world who are less in need than they once were because of the physical work that she does, and almost nobody knows. I doubt she ever thinks about this, because all she ever sees is that there’s still more people out there that need help and she’s going to keep doing what she does tirelessly. But I hope she reads this and pauses to think about the thousands of lives that have already been impacted by her thoughts and actions, her skills, her sewing machine, her passion to care.
We see each other almost every week as a family, but once a year specifically, we get together sometime near my birthday and go somewhere for the day and I happily let her treat me to food and whatever else happens upon our day. Shopping, Art galleries, ocean cruises (okay it was just the sea bus, but still…) This has resulted in several pairs of shoes over our years together, and now, it makes me thrilled. I love spending time together, talking to her, learning about her life, catching up on things that don’t get said from week to week.
I love that she loves food, talking, and having adventures.
She is and always will be my mom, and I love her and celebrate her.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.