When I woke up on January 22, 2013, I got out of bed and went to the washroom just like any other day. I washed my hands and I glanced up to the mirror and I saw myself. I really saw myself, for possibly the first time. I was fat. I was ugly. I felt disgusted at what I saw looking back at me. It was like suddenly realizing that I had been avoiding looking at myself in the mirror for many years. Just stare down at my hands while washing up and move on with my life. Ignoring what was right there in front of me.
I felt tears coming, and then I just got incredibly angry. I was angry at myself and my situation. I realized how much I hated my life and how uncomfortable I felt every day and everywhere I went. I realized how much pain my body was in on a daily basis. Then I thought “You’re 22 years old, Nigel. What is wrong with you?”
I knew that I needed to change who I was and what I looked like. I stared at myself through the angry tears, and made a commitment that somehow, someway, I was going to change. I didn’t know how to change or where to start, so I just started to think. I decided that maybe I could start by walking. I could go for a walk in the evenings, and that’s exactly what I started doing.
The moral of this post is that you absolutely cannot change until you look at yourself and decide that you need to take action. Take some time and plant yourself firmly in front of the mirror and analyze your body. What do you love and what do you wish you could change? Is there something you are ignoring on purpose because you’re afraid of truly seeing yourself objectively? Do yourself a long term favour and be honest as you look. You might thank yourself later on in life for finally taking action. Don’t be afraid of the emotions. Live them. Let them out. Make that change. Nobody else can do it for you.
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